we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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