You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
