We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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