Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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