well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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