Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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