She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so let's talk penis.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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