But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
