And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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