I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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