They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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