some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
