am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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