so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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