it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
