Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
