Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize