You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it glows. i had to have it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
