my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize