I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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