I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
