Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize