i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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