ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
