I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
