Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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