I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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