So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
