remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
