i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
