i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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