sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
