let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
