I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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