Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
