My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
