That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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