He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
