The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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