You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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