Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
