I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
