i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
