Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
