i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize