Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
