im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
