I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dignity is for republicans.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
