How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
