Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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