I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
