If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize