whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
