Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
it's like iHOP with fire
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
