And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
