He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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