Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
