ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
