Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
40s are totally the cure
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
