I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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